It's time to have THE talk. It is time to talk about rape and victim blaming.
First, I feel it's necessary to explain what exactly rape is (so there's no confusion). Rape is, by definition, "unlawful sexual activity and usual sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent" ( Merriam-Webster Dictionary). Although the definition says that rape usually happens to women, let's not be naive and assume men are not victims of sexual assault because they are. No one is exempt from the threat of rape, which makes it such an unpredictable crime. A person incapable of giving consent can be someone who is intoxicated or under the influence of any type of drug; someone who is unable to verbally say no; or someone too young to legally give consent (statutory rape).
To any person who has been a victim of sexual assault, It was not your fault, and there is nothing your abuser can say or explain to make it your fault. You are entitled to feel the way you feel. The only person you have to forgive is yourself.
As a society, we have to stop making excuses for rapists. We have to stop blaming the victims. No one goes into a situation thinking, "this person is going to rape me today", especially when it someone that person trusts. According to rainn.org 70% of rapes are committed by someone the person knows and trusts. These incidents have long term affects on the victim making future relationships especially hard for the victim.
There is no job that makes rape okay. There is no outfit or lack of outfit that makes rape okay. There isn't a number of sexual partners that makes rape okay. There is no relationship that makes rape okay.
Making a change in rape culture is NOT up to the victims. Making a change to rape culture is about teaching consent to both men and women. When you teach your sons and daughters about sex, which you should, teach them consent. Teach your kids that no means no and not keep trying until the other person stops fighting it. Teach your kids that anything other than yes is not yes. Teach your kids that they are not obligated to have sex with anyone, no matter the relationship or age of the other person. Teach your kids that no one is obligated to have sex with them because of relationship or age. Teach your kids, your brothers, your cousins that their manhood does not rely on where they put their penis. Teach your kids that having sex does not put them at an advantage to anywhere else. To make change you have to teach it. We can't keep acting like it's something that is going to just solve itself. We can't keep acting like victims of this violence are the ones to blame.
https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
https://www.rainn.org/statistics/perpetrators-sexual-violence